


This is not a shakedown, Let go of the blame

by sal_paradise



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tylorca, ash is not a klingon!, face touching, gabriel lorca is not a bad guy!, male comfort, they just need love and hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_paradise/pseuds/sal_paradise
Summary: Ash is assigned to Lorca. They learn they have more in common then they thought and that they can rely on eachother





	This is not a shakedown, Let go of the blame

**Author's Note:**

> Gabriel Lorca is my bi, jewish disabled space dad and he's a good guy i swear. He deserves the world. Ash Tyler is not a klingon! hes the sweetest boy and deserves all the good things
> 
> You think I lost my vision but I didn't  
> This sounds like heaven but it isn't  
> Through fields of amber we will run  
> Somewhere in the life to come
> 
> This is not a shakedown  
> Let go of the blame  
> Have a little faith in me, girl  
> Just dropkick the shame  
> Uncover your face, girl  
> Let go of the blame  
> Have a little faith in me  
> Just dropkick the shame~ "life to come" the killers
> 
> And the road was so long  
> I was never as strong  
> As the love you gave to me  
> And it all took its toll  
> You become so cold  
> You forget what you were born to be  
> ~The fall of Rome- the airborne toxic event

 

There was several  things  Ash Tyler suspected  for sure  for the  short  time he was on the  USS  Discovery.

One, was that the Discovery was the  most  high tech  and  advanced ship  he had every been on.

2 nd was that  everyone was on edge; not only was it  a time of  war, but.their last  encounter with Harry Mudd and  the  revelation that  they could  have been in a  cycle  of  death  without knowing it  made people  uneasy.

Third was how tired Captain Gabriel Lorca was.

Out of the  three Ash was only  certain of the  third one.

 

He considered  himself a pretty perceptive  person. He was not one for rumours or  false  tales  as he  heard some of the other members of Starfleet  mutter about their  captain. He  sensed the unease- The crew all listened to him... but they feared him.

Ash winced.

‘He could only imagine the  heavy  burden Lorca carried. Many hard  decisions and restless nights no doubt.

Ash had a keen eye for detail and  to him the dark circles under  Lorca’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed..Neither  did his disappearing patience.

 

Ash  had the misfortune of being in the room when a situation occurred  where Tilly walked in, unaware  that the  Captain was there as well.  Automatically  she asked for lights up and there  was a  sharp shout of  agony.

Tilly stammered for words  as Lorca  snarled for her to get out of his sight;  fumbling  blindly into the walls like a trapped bat trying to get away from light. Ash will admit it he was distracted by his captains feeble attempts to get out of the light  that stopped him from helping  right  away.  As Lorca  slumped to the  floor  after she  left. He snarled  that  Tyler  was dismissed

Never once did he ask for help

“He’s not sleeping you’re  right  about  that ” Stamets  concurred  as Ash came to him with this story later. He figured he would know anything the partner of the chief  medical officer would.

“It’s affecting everything about him.. As much as he would disagree.”

Ash nodded.

"I hear him walking around Discovery  very late at night or putting  some of  the young cadets to shame jogging in the  early morning. Though, Hugh said some of the cadets said they thought they saw the  Captain being physically ill. So my guess is he’s not eating well either."

 

“Why the  sudden questions about Lorca?”Stamets asked with  large  questioning eyes

 

“Just concerned about my new  captain. Like I said to him, I lost one I  don't  want to lose  another. Ash   answeredwith ease

 

Stamet’s gaze lingered too long  at this  response,  he looked  ready to  counter, but let it slide.

“Of course  lietuentant” he  replied.

  


Ash  had spent most of his adult life around men like Lorca  and knew  from experience they still needed  someone to lean on. As the  sole  survivor of the USS Buran  Lorca had no one he could put faith in; he rumours ran rampant. He was  causing divisions between  him and Starfleet..

Ash frowned .

“He needs someone he  can actually confide in” Stamets  said matter of  factly as if  reading his thoughts  “someone he can let his guard down around otherwise all that pent up  inside of him.. he is going to crash and burn.”

 

Hugh who had been the silent  observer nodded “ Lorca is already tipping the wrong way. Someone has to stop him.”

Stamets laughed “I ‘d  hate to be that poor fool.  They're  just  asking  for Lorca  to chew them up and  spit them out.”

Hugh rolled his eyes

“Be grateful it  isn’t you. But  whoever it  is has a long  road ahead of them.”

 

Xxxxxx

 

Ash couldn't help it his mind was still fixated on his captain when Saru paged him to the bridge.

Ash was confused but came, however as the door slid open, Saru was there holding up a hand in silence

Ash quirked his head and Saru stepped out into the hallway with him

“ Captain?” He managed  “what  wrong?  Why is no one-”

 

Saru held up his hand again  silencing him

 

“Captain Lorca is  sleeping”  Saru managed, he signalled for Ash to follow  him  onto the  bridge-  true to his word, Lorca  had  fallen asleep in the  captain's chair, braced on one arm, body laxed in sleep. He still looked exhausted Ash noted sadly.

.

Saru was acting captain when Lorca  was indisposed,  the poor  kelpien looked torn,his  gaze  drifted to  Lorca again. “I unfortunately cannot stay with him there are other matters on the  ship to attend to while the  captain rests but…”

 

“But?” Ash pried

 

Saru sighed “ I don't feel comfortable leaving the captain alone  right now. He has been more on edge since our incident with  Mudd and when he wakes it would be comforting to have someone he knows there.”

Ash felt his eyebrows  raise.

“Me? I've only been on the ship a couple  days-”

“- and  the captain  already speaks highly of you, that is nothing to  frown at  Lt.Tyler.”

 

Ash dropped his  gaze  despite himself he felt a hot rush of emotion. _Lorca  thought  highly of  him?_ The  thought  made his  heart flutter

 

He nodded “I’ll stay, should I wake him at any point?”

Sarun shook his head “no please let  him sleep as long as he is capable of. He needs it. Your  duties are to him for the evening. When he awakes  you are to make sure he takes time to relax in his quarters” Ash nodded  frowning slightly.

 

“ That  may be harder than you think Mr.Saru.” He glanced  at  Lorca “ he  does not take to relaxation easily.”

 

Saru nodded “ I know but forgive me for  saying so Lt. Tyler but from my observations the captain appears to have a soft spot  for you.”

 

Ash blinked  surprised; as Saru excused himself and left.

 

_Well… when in Rome_

 

Ash  settled himself into a nearby chair, a datapad he scrounged from the bridge in his lap as he began to lay out early safety schematics for the ship, gazing out the window at the immense  vastness of space. Saru’s words lingered in his  mind despite  himself   _he has a soft spot for you…_

 

He tried to push it from his mind… it was nonsense.

 

As he worked  every now and  again he couldn't  help but find his  gaze  tracing back to Lorca’s prone form.

 

Now away from the  chaos, the politics, the  war  hell even the bright lights Lorca looked  different. He looked exactly  like  what he pretended he  wasn't.

A human male.

A mortal human male  with limitations, weaknesses.

 

He didn't  just looked tired. He looked bone tired-weary to his very core.

Those stunning blue eyes that burned like cold fire were moving  restlessly under their lids; this Ash realized was probably the most vulnerable  anybody on the  Discovery had ever seen the captain. His stiff way he held his shoulders and the dangerous growl that always seemed on the verge of emerging were non-existent.

 

Despite himself Ash felt a smile tug at his lips. He looked almost sweet like this. Not the battle  grizzled war captain.

 

He didn't know Lorca long, but lord he didn't want to take this away from him. He  deserved it.

 

As he flipped through articles, legs propped up, creating blueprints on the data pad, enjoying the peace as well, when he felt it more then heard it. Lorca’s arm shuddered his fingers twitched madly before going still again. Ash watched, concerned as minutes passed. He knew it from experience a nightmare when he saw one. He saw Lorca’s brow crease in concern. But then it faded perhaps…

 

Ash went back to his data pad.

Then he heard it.

A small whine. Almost inaudible.

But it came again.

Someone in pain.

 

Ash’s gaze drifted to his captain. He was gripping the seat in a death grip, fretting his lip these small noises of distress growing louder.

When a whimper left Lorca Ash felt like  he was punched in the gut. He hated to see his captain like this.

He knows Saru would have wanted him to rest longer but Ash wasn't going to let him suffer. Not through this.

“Captain Lorca” he approached cautiously.

No reaction.

Captain?” another cautious step to his side .

Still nothing.

 

“Capt-” he  went to gently touch his shoulder to  wake him- but before he could move a hand shot up grabbing  Ash’s in a  death  grip.

 

Ash gasped in surprise as he  attempted to pull away, but the  grip only  tightened,  determined to  break bone and  damage.

“Captain! Ash  gasped trying to pull away “ Gabriel please!” he didn’t mean to resort to the captain’s name but  it  seemed to do the trick the  grip suddenly loosened as  Lorca’s eyes sprung open with a  startled gasp.

 

His gaze found tyler’s and he could see how terrified his captain was- his eyes  darted nervously around the room he was unsure  where  he was-

 

Ash tucked his arm  towards himself protectively, it wasn’t broken but he knew there would be some ugly bruising. Christ Lorca had quite the  grip.

He turned back to his captain “ Captain you’re okay, you’re here on the Discovery, it’s me Lieutenant. Tyler.”

 

Despite the  ferocity Ash found himself reaching to comfort this man, trying to ground him in the present, Lorca’s breath was  coming in short bursts. His pupils blown wide in fear. He was in that moment just Gabriel Lorca. Not a war fighter, a survivor or a Starfleet captain...just Gabriel. He was vulnerable.

 

“Tyler” he managed weakly “I’m sorry, I'm sorry I-”

“ You were having a nightmare sir. You have nothing to apologize for.”

Lorca ran a weary hand over his face trying to pull himself together.

“Sir…”

For a moment. He looked  like  he  wanted something more  from Ash.

 

“ I think I'll be alright lt. Tyler you're dismissed as you were.” as he said this he could see the mask of captain slip into place. Those 10 foot  walls with razor wire he hid behind back in place

Lorca closed his eyes rubbing circles in his aching temples

 

He felt a presence still,watching him.

 

He looked up and found Ash still there as if rooted to the spot.

 

“Did you not hear me lieutenant?” there was more venom in his words than necessary but Ash knew he was deliberately trying to push him away

 

“I'm sorry captain but I've been assigned to you or the evening” Ash managed.

 

There was danger in Lorca's eyes “ commands from who?”

 

“your number one sir.”

 

Lorca growled “ when I get my hands on the kelpien I'll-”

 

“ If I may be so bold captain. I agree with Mr. Saru” Ash said

 

He saw lorca raise his eyebrows “oh you do do you lieutenant?”

 

“I do. You are the leader of this vessel. Your guidance and ability to make hard decisions is what we need. If you're not at your best then we will fail. We can't afford any mix-ups captain. We’re too late in the game for that. We need you at your best.”

  
  
  


Lorca seemed to consider this

 

“It's okay to show you're a human captain” he went to gently lay a hand on Lorca’s shoulder only to have the man twitch away from him.

 

“Not if the enemy is everything more than” Lorca grumbled in reply.

 

He let out a weary sigh.

 

“ I’m going to guess Lt.Tyler even if I show you the nastier half of my personality and throw authority over your head you're not going to budge.”

 

Ash shook his. Lorca gave him a half hearted smile “you're one stubborn bastard soldier.”

Ash grinned “ I learn from the best”.

 

Xxx xxx

 

Ash followed Lorca back to his private quarters  following him meekly in. Lorca’s  quarters  were  typical. Ash was  susprprised,where the captain striped out of his stripped authority. Leaving him in a tight black t-shirt.

Ash swallowed. Trying to avert his gaze to the way the material clung to Lorca.

 _Geeze could Starfleet make their uniforms any tighter?_ … Ash had to forcibly pry his eyes away as Lorca removed his boots as well and padded barefoot over to where the food dispensary was.

“Hungry?”

Ash nodded

And soon Ash  was on  Lorca’s couch, as his  captain prepped them what he  called some comfort  food. Chili with garlic bread. Nice and piping hot.  And whisky…

Ash raised his eyebrows

“ it warms the  bones lieutenant.” Lorrca replied and gave a  half  hearted  smile as he  took a sip

Ash mimicked him,  and the  warmth of the  booze stung his  throat and  sent a hot thrill down his spine.

The two dug eagerly into the food. Sharing polite conversation. Lorca  remarked how he didn’t  have guests  often, he  was  used to dining alone. However he didn’t mind the  company. They discussed the ship, books, movies topical things

 

Eventually Ash began to feel comfortable as well. His Starfleet jacket opened, his boots removed. He started to ease into comfort in Lorca’s low lit room. Lorca explained that in his  quarters is where  he  truly  got  relief from the harsh lights and Ash pited him slightly.

  


“Why don't you dim them on the  rest of the  ship?”

“The needs  of the many outweigh the needs of the few… also known as your vision impaired captain can’t turn the ship into a nocturnal cave  system because it hurts his eyes.”

 

Ash snorted  despite himself

 

He and Lorca knocked back another  few  drinks and  Ash was feeling the warm pleasant buzz of the alcohol.

 

Ash  was  perplexed  what  was  Saru on about? If this  was how the captain was away from others why did he need  Ash’s help?

 _It's  a  ruse_ his booze soaked  brain insisted . t _his was not him, he  wants  you out of his hair. Hes pretending hes okay._

He  watched  as Lorca  settled himself onto the couch, knees  drawn up to balance his second bowl of food, almost child like. He  had grabbed something before re-settling on the couch  between them. It was a... tribble?

 

A caramel coloured ball of fluff now made three on the couch.

“Sir is that?”

 

“This is Merkin lieutenant and yes he's a tribble.”

 

One hand stroked the ball which purred and hummed in delight. “ Merkin is kind of like a  earth cat, but  easier to take care of. After a long day. Merkin helps me  relax… he was a gift from a friend after the Buran. Sometimes I… can’t sleep.. As you saw.”

 

Ash swallowed.  The light  hearted banter  suddenly  dropped away.T _he captain was opening up to him?  Why?- him?_

 

There was apart of Ash that wanted desperately to open up to someone, his few days on the ship had highs and lows, the days went well but the nights… he would  stare at the ceiling,if he wasn't awake, he was shocked awake in a cold sweat.

 

“I  know why Mr. Saru asked you to stay with me Lt. Tyler…”

 

Ash felt  his eyebrows raise. And then it dawned on him. No one got it, because no one  had been where they had. He had  suspected  but now  it was confirmed.

 

He was alone.

 

Like  Ash had been.

 

Ash understood. He  knew  that the captain would be able to ground himself in someone who would understand how it was to be on the klingon ship- there were moments he was beat so badly after  he  had to “choose his pain”  he would just roll into a ball and pray for the darkness to take him, or he's crawl into a corner like a beaten animal and hide and hope they spare him. How, he became more like them scrounging for food hackles raised ready to attack, forgetting who he was…

He shuddered.

 

“If  you're  thinking why is my  captain telling me all this” Lorca words snapped him from his thoughts it's that lieutenant the truth is I don't have anyone to really talk with.”

 

“Sir? The crew-”

 _Surely  someone..._ the pit of worry grew  deeper in his  gut

 

“Fear me Tyler. Some respect me. But you don't think I hear what they call me behind my back? My eyes may be gone, but my hearing still works...warmonger, monster, captain with a God complex.”

Ash winced.

None were kind.

 

“Even my friends, people I fought alongside turn their backs on me. They don't get it”. Lorca’s hand was softly stroking Merkin.It purred contentedly against the captain's chest.

 

“I'm trying to do right by them. By me.They want to go home. I want to take them there, but to do that I need to fight the enemy tooth and nail. Till there's nothing left even at cost to myself.”

 

Ash nodded but frowned slightly-

 

“Do you think I revel in pain and suffering soldier?” Lorca asked suddenly

Ash was taken aback.

“No sir”

He was honest.

“A man who revelled in pain and suffering would have left me in that room. Would have left me with her-”

 

Ash choked on her name and hated  himself for it. He would never be free of her.

Suddenly Lorca’s  hand thrust into Ash’s,  calloused  fingertips  gripping his hand  firmly  but gently grounding him in the present.

He  wasn’t on a ship…

He was..

There.

On Lorca’s couch.

In his quarters.

Christ Ash  was supposed to be looking out for the captain not the other way around.

 

“Easy soldier you're here. You’re safe.”

 

“A man who revels in suffering would not have done that” Ash added quietly as he bravely hooked his other hand on top of the captains’.

 

Ash’s heart pounded in in his chest.

 

Merkin purred louder

 

Ash still feeling brave  looked into his captain's eyes.

 

Lorca  was slightly startled by  his lieutenants  earnestness, as Ash gave him a weak smile and  stared deep into his captain's eyes. Blue, blue as the oceans  he missed  so much from his  native  earth, blue as hydragians, as blue as the sky. Upon  closer inspection he could see the spidering sparkling specks and  veins of injury his  eyes. His eyes looked liked the starry night outside their window.

“Your eyes”

Lorca  blinked slowly “yes lieutenant? Lorca seemed weary, he was so used to people remarking on his eyes negatively.

 

That hot wave of liquid  courage Ash had consumed gave him the strength, to say what he otherwise would  not have-” forgive me for saying so, but they are lovely. Even injured as they are.”

Lorca arched a brow this  was  unexpected…

 

“ They're a reminder of who I was, then.. They see the world  differently... I see the  world  differently..  Then I did  then ...It’s full of pain.”

 

“And  beauty too” Ash managed as he found himself  gently  stroking the  tribble  who purred  and shifted higher on the captain's chest.

 

Lorca gave a half hearted laugh. “You're young lieutenant you hang onto that optimism; it becomes something more valuable than gold. You have a good heart Tyler it will lead you well.”

 

“As will you Captain”

Gabriel snorted “my days as captain are numbered Tyler mark my words. As for my heart..it died awhile ago.” Lorca  stared off through the  window into deep space, lost in thought.

 

Ash couldn't help but notice the tremble that wracked his thin frame. Too thin if Ash was being honest with himself.

“Captain…”

“Please just Gabriel for now.” He seemed suddenly world weary. He sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped as he rubbed  at his  face in a  tired  motion that  was  almost  endearing. It  was  rare  to see a man of authority  who  was brave  enough to  tell Starfleet he didn't  give a  damn-to their  faces, here huddled with a  tribble on his chest and  shaky hand  clutching whisky in the other.

“Then it’s  just  Ash  here” he replied.

 

Lorca  gave a  small snort as Merkin curled into his master's chest, rubbing against his arm.

“It doesn't hurt you old fool” Lorca murmured brushing him away from what Ash could now see was a jagged look scar that  ran from the inside of his  elbow up under his sleeve.

Ash watched.

 

“Tribbles have been known to sooth wounds, Merkin thinks  it's a fresh injury every time he see it.” Lorca  pets the creature  soothingly “ the  damage  has been done. You can't undo it but thank you”. He managed to  say to the tribble.

 

Ash’s gaze  was fixed on the  scar. It was red, rippled, clearly torn muscles,  either cut into or ripped-

“ Chained against the wall- klingons decided to try to see how human anatomy works, tried to dissect the muscles as I watched.”

 

Tyler shuddered dropping his  gaze. He could only imagine… Lorca at the mercy of klingons. Alone. Wounded.

 

“ It’s alright it's part of who I am. “ Ash wanted to reply it  wasn’t  alright, that no one should have to accept that as part of  who they were, that they all deserved to have  someone who understood.

“ Did you ever tell anyone about… what happened on the buran to you?” Ash ventured.

Lorca tensed. It was then Ash  realized how close they were side by side, touching lightly. He  could feel Lorca wanting to retract.

 

“It isn't about me” he managed  softly. I hurt my eyes,  that's all  that needs to be said. It's about them. All those people who don't have lives to live anymore; because of me. It is their memory that matters.” His answer was  stiff, practiced, usually  what  satisfied stuffy Starfleet officials.

 

“And  you don’t?” Ash whispered

 

Lorca was surprised. Clearly no one pursued the point past that- it made Ash’s  heart ache.

“I- “

“Why doesn't your well being matter matter as much as their memories do?”

Lorca looked lost for words.

 

“You survived, you made the tough calls that no captain wants to make but will if they need to.”

The Captain avoided his gaze

 

“And you're here. Reliving the pain with every movement. Every action and no one ever asks how you are unless it is to harm you.” Lorca’s head was slumped as if he was being punished.

 

Still silent

“ They don't see that beneath the stripes, the badge that you're a man that’s still in pain. Still mourning.”  Tyler  cocked his head “and they want to take away the only thing you have left to remember them by.”

 

Ash had been thinking aloud on his observations on his captain when he finally looked back He saw how sad  Gabriel looked. He had gotten past those walls of his defenses, a deep rooted pain that would fade but never disappear.

 

“You're not sleeping “ Ash ventured “are you?”

Lorca shook his head. Attention focused on Merkin.

“No”

“How long?”

“If I'm lucky four hours before the nightmares act up” he sighed he finally met Ash’s gaze  and the younger man could see tears being held back.

 

“What do you dream of?”

 

“Them. Those last moments.what I could have changed. The pain.”

 

Ash nodded. He understood. He had seen people come and go in the prison and he had suffered as well, his dreams were the same. His mind  couldn't  let  go, neither could  Lorcas.

“You don't have to… hold it in. We don't have to hold it in”  Ash managed.

The tight knot in his throat loosens slightly.

 

Slowly as if tempting fate Ash raises his hand to come rest on Lorca’s face. Lorca flinched for a moment…. Almost unsure of what to do but Ash began to hum quietly, his fingers  traced small circles at his temples. Slowly Lorca closed his eyes the soothing fingers tracing his contours. He  was so starved for attention Ash noticed as he all but melted into his touch; how long had it  been since  someone cared?  Everyone acted like he  was tarnished. Ruined.

Lorca was, letting go.

They sat like that  for  a while, Merkin’s purr in the background.

 

“ You can let go too “ Lorca managed from where he sat  eyes still closed. “ i'll catch you, just like you caught me.”

 _I understand you,_ he was saying

 

We can let go of the blame. The both of them.

 

Ash was surprised, as he continued to hold his captain. The moment was intimate, something he never dreamed was a possibility.

 

“Can I?” Lorca’s voice cut suddenly through the silence  he was leaning forward indicating to Ash’s chest. There was a needy look in his eyes.   

                                                                                                                                                      

Ash blinked. There was a moment of hesitation, he was not yet used  to having people in his life who simply did not  take what they wanted. L’rell had almost succeeded in breaking him fully she treated him like a toy-.made for her; how she looked at him, just a tool for her pleasure. She told  him no one would want someone like him  after they knew… dirty, unwanted after they knew what  he did and what was done to him.

Then Ash recalled Lorca had never looked at  him that  way, never  contempt, never pity or  that  he wasn’t  worthy of his captain’s touches had been gentle,  compassionate  with concern  for a man he had just met.

 

His captain was different. Gabriel  needed Ash and Ash him.

 

Taking a shaky breath he nodded as Lorca inched forward, his hands seeking warmth as he latched himself to Ash’s hip. The lieutenant  twitched..

“Am I?-”

“ No it tickles that’s all.” Ash managed  as lorca lowered his upper body onto Ash’s leg,  Merkin pressed to his chest like some child’s teddy bear.

 

For a moment as they sat there Ash could feel how tense  they both were but as they enjoyed the silence the  tension slowly ebbed  from Lorca's shoulders.

 

“I haven’t slept like this since I was a boy” Lorca managed his back to Ash, curled into his lieutenant’s lap. A part of Lorca was  dreading that anyone should see him. Another part wanted them to, so that they could see what he’s become.

 

“I was very ill, my mother was away for work  my  father had to tend to me, I kept  telling him I was fine, but I wasn’t-he was  a tough man, stoic, stiff, silent but in that moment he picked me up, wrapped me in his arms and carried me to bed. He told me a lesson that night.  The only people  who are truly lost are those that  don't ask for help  when they need it.”

 

Ash hummed in agreement.

“Can I ?” Ash’s hand  slowly came to rest on  lorca’s  shoulder.  He  could feel the  tension there. Lorca nodded  and sighed as Ash began to gently  card his hand  through the  captain’s hair, soothingly, softly.

He  wasn’t sure how long  they sat, there Merkin purring against them, his  captain was  very truly  asleep, one hand  wrapped  around Ash as if  trying to anchor himself in Ash’s  safety. Ash smiled.

He  began to feel  drowsy  himself, as Lorca had adjusted himself facing inward pressed in towards  Ash,wrapping his arms firmly around his waist. At peace.

Ash looked  down at his  sleeping captain he  realised the words  he had  spoken to Lorca  were  real. There  was no  where  else he  wanted to be.

**Author's Note:**

> have an idea? hit me up at life-on-the-geek-side at tumblr!


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